Why I Feel So Trapped Compared.

If I could make myself into something that could easily fly/navigate to New York/General East Coast area, I would. I wish I could catch myself in a scene and the scene would exert its power over my fear of death. These people would probably help, but who knows, maybe they are too frivolous to help me with finiteness. Maybe if I helped them, they would help me? I can bring them locally grown organic fruit from Oregon. My headphones are on but I just had a moment where I felt like there was nothin