Anatomy of a Pritchslap

The Setting Picture your local high school's computer lab, buried deep within a large slab of quiet concrete: roughly 25 feet by 25 feet, with workstations along all four walls and a table in the middle of the room, TVs hanging in various locations around the room, and a healthy wireless network pumping through the air, offering the only consistent reminder that the room's occupants are not halfway to the earth's core. God forbid if Portland were attacked by terrorists, at face, it would seem